Guys?

I've looked for a person to fill that hole or gap so deep inside of me but I've came to realize that its not something anyone else can fill but me. Its a part of me so I must pour myself into it to make a fuller happier me. That doesn't mean that I cannot love or do not love. I happen to love and care very much for someone, but as everyone before he can't fill my deepest hole inside of me created so long ago, and this is because he's not ment to fill that void. He's there to fill my heart with a brightness and make it shine. I'm to make myself whole and make his heart shine. He well, he gets to make himself whole too.

Thats just something for you to think about. I hope you enjoy the pondering.

Love ya,

Lora Beth

Friends are always spose to be there for you right? Thats what we are to think. They are spose to under stand things about you that no one else does. But how exactly do we know that its exactly that way? When do they over step? If one of you could answer that for me just do, Thanks.

Hello people, and welcome to my crazy life. Okay, so theres this Korean dude that was behind our bus the other day. We waved at him.... We had nothing else to do I mean were on a bus right? Well, I had already screamed out look mexican when we drove by one.... He heard me.... And I screamed out to another guy "Hey you know your on a latter!" He heard me too.... Looked at me weird too... Well I wanted to wave at the Korean guy that I really couldnt see but knew he was rich..... So I wave and he doesnt.... How rude.... Well at that time I decide to take off my over shirt. I had a black wifebeater on under neath or as the norther Andie Asshole Twiehaus says "breaker". Well my friend tells me to flash him..... Infact the whole back of the bus does...... Embarassing right? No.. Not really. But I wasnt gonna flash him.... We have a camra on our bus. Like I want the principle seeing that.... I'm sure that it doesnt have that fuzzy stuff that they put over the random body parts on cops..... So I decide to try to find out where he lives.... Mayhaps I could go to his house knock on his door and suprize him when he opens it....... Well I guess not..... I dont know how the hell he did it but he did..... He like totally dissipeared from behind us and we have no clue where he lives.... So now the hunt is on for the Korean guys house.... If you have any where abouts about him or the house or his awesome black car, then contact me..... If not just pretend you do..... I'm sure I'll be dumb enough to take it..... Not saying your information is good.... Just saying I can be stupid..... What can I say.... I'm a blonde right now.......

Yes, for you that dont know I redied my hair..... A lovely shade of blonde........ I wanted red but it didnt turn out that way.... Stupid dye.... Its out to kill me. Anyways, I'm gonna go. Take care. I love you guys.... and I love you Joey!

Hey guys how are you? I've dicided to write you all again. Sorry Im like never on any more. Oh by the way my Yahoo messanger is not working right now. Im too lazy to use my dads computer to check it. I have a new boyfriend, or how my friend David calls him my new boytoy. His name is Joey and most of you know him. Yep hes Joey Welch. We finally got together. Took a while didnt it. Hes spose to be over today after he gets off work. Anyways how did every ones Christmas go? Mine went great. I got me a nice skirt outfit ofcourse its black. I got a nighty and robe set.... its red. I got a dragon shelf thing from Joey. I got DDR 2 hummmm..... I have 10 dollors left after buying DDR and the outfits.... of 155 dollors. I got some make up and bath stuff.... Some insents and a new burner. I got a pair of earing and matching braclet and ring from Britny the insents came from Christain... Coral got me a stuffed pinguin.... I gotta book from LJ.....um a journal from Josh..... I think thats it... Im not too sure. I was happy though and still am.
Anyways, I hope you all had a Merry Christmas. I love all of you and Wish you all a happy new year! You are all dear to me. Take care of yourselfs. Bai bai for now.

Sorry Ive been off for so long seems like Ive fell off the earth. Ive been grounded for the most part but I hope to be ungrounded soon. Sorry Dan! I wish I could call.... Also I lost your numbers..... Bad me. Joeys back in my life and Im still having guy problems but who cares. Its my senior year and Im getting ready for college. I hope to go to the Art Institution School but Im not sure yet. I wanna do colorgaurd too. Well I will tell you more when I have the time. Talk to you all later.
Love ya

Okay, I know its been a while and I know I should have alot to tell you guys about right? Not really. I had a good birthday. Got a new Bible, a butterfly ring, another ring, a unisex braclet or how Rene says "bisexual braclet" who is quoting my mistake on saying what it was, and I got a Mysteries of the Bible box and a flan, that was good! I think that was all I got. Or atleast for now it is. I had a small party... We watched The Village of the Damned and ate cheese cake. It included Christain, Philis, and Brian or Brain, my aunt and me... oh I got money too! Ofcourse from the streets where else.... So I guess my normal job really doesnt count... naw just joking got it from my dad and grandparents.
I also got to talk to Rene alot lately.... More than anyone else. Oh and I came up with this love scale with the help of Lindsey of-course.

My Love Scale-By Lora Beth and Lindsey
1-strongly dislikes
2-dislikes
3-likes
4-likes alot
5-likes as much as cheese
6-friendship love
7-dateable love
8-g/f,b/f love
9-perhaps a match made in heaven
10-true love

I asked Rene which number I was for him and he said a 8.7 so that gotta be good, right? Him for me is a 7 or a 8 Im not completely sure about how I feel but I know I like him lots. Well thats all thats new with me. I hope to hear from you guys later. Bai bai and take care.

Okay its summer time now and it seems like every one is getting bored already..... Its only what the second week. Well, half my friends are working or at some school type function.... Then theres the ones in summer school. Im missing them all already and have nothing to do... but I am planning my Birthday Party! Sounds fun right? I hope it is. I should be sending out invitations soon or calling to invite.... I might just call its a whole lot easier! Well, as far as that goes, I'll be 18 this year! Sounds like lots of fun... Im legal and I get to get out and go to a dance club! Anyways, Whats happened in the last week? Well Im talking to a few guys... Checkin my options before I get dedicated again, I dont want another Andrew Twiehaus! I just want some one I can talk to and love, but not some one whos over board with the 'I love you' and 'I'll do anything for you' remarks. Just a simple relationship! I've also been sleeping, reading, working, going online, and going to church for the past week.... plan boredum! Anyways I gotta go now, I really dont have anything to talk about talk to you guys later and take care. Bai bai!

Well, Chau-ta and I were together for a while or atleast he lead me to belive... Yeah I opened up to him..... I felt bright after the incident today...... Well he got what he wanted.... I guess thats when I get thrown out, huh? Anyways, big deal, Its happened before why not again? I really dont care now. Micheal is on his on again... poor baby, he was to get married soon too... had the whole thing planed. So hes on his own too. I meet this guy named Rikkie who thinks I atleast sound hot.... not that I look it or sound it but he thinks so... I also talked to Anthony.... I called at a bad time as always. He was out with a friend. I think Im happier being single now. It works out better. Anyways thats just about it... Though Diannas boyfriends treating her like Andie treated me...... Go figure... what comes around goes around.... They'll get it back one day... That is if Dianna learns from it...... See ya guys bai bai.

Today was great. Ofcorse it rained but I got to sleep all day long. Dad and the Grandparents couldnt find me for the whole morning. It was alil funny... Thing was I was sleeping in the living room at dads. We had a picnic at church. It was fun.... played some games. I also talked to my friend Christain and hung out with her.... And I did play video games too.... Yeah my fun days are Sundays. Anyways thats all that happened today so I'll talk to you guys later take care. Bai bai.

Today is the begining of Summer for me.... Or the part of summer when Im not in school.... yeah I finally got those nails off so that I can type again. I dumped that guy named Jeff amd learnt my lesson on how to not pick up guys at wal-mart. This year was a blast... I really enjoyed it and wish it would of lasted longer. I had fun in art class.... Even painted 'Starry Night' by von Gogh. I love to paint now. I had my first road block for the band... Loved it... though some of the ppl were alil weird... I'm in dance line if you didnt know.
But even with all the fun stuff I still have my sad days. For instince, one of my best friends is moving. He's leaving for Washington, D.C. this summer and wont be coming back for next school year... Ive known him for 3 years now but it seems like I just met yesterday. And ofcourse I cant forget my senior friends that are leaving. Some are moving to different places for college and some are staying but will be very busy because its their first year in college. I'm really going to miss all of my friends. But I can be happy for them and will because I know they are always there for me as I am for them.
This summer has alot in store though. I have band camp, dance line camp, youth trips, summer homework.... 3 books, thanks Mr. Frost, and hanging out with friends, not to mention many other things that havent even made themselves known yet. I even started this summer out good too. I bet my new InuYasha game and plan on playing it again in a few days... Its a very fun game!
Well anyways I must go now. Take care my friends! I love you all, and I will try to post as much as I can. Bai bai for now.

Okay about that boyfriend of mine. Yeah he has reached annouying.... just thought that I would tell you that today bai bia guys!

Okay meet two guys in Wal-Mart both of who are friends and are interested in me.... grand right? well I only like one of them and we were gonna try to get the other to go out with my best frind but hes alil too shallow so he cant see her true bueaty... yeah made me mad when he tried to impress me by tellin me that shes to fat and he only likes gurls that are skinny and are in his eyes pretty... shallow as hell! Anyways, thing is I like Jeff and really cant stand Landon. So some friends have an idea to take care of the lil problem! Fun! Anyways, I do have to go right now! Talk to you later guys! Bai bai!

Okay..... Prom was okay... the dj sucked! I did how ever have a non-virgin drink..... My pina colada that I order was messed up but we didnt find out till I got to brians house.... well I'll tell more later when I learn how to type with these nails.

Okay, Today we got letters from the 5th graders... mine was from Brendan Haun.
Heres his letter.

Dear Lora,
I hope you have a blast at the prom, but their is two things you should watch out for. Drugs and alcohol. If you drink ask someone to drive you. home. Plus if you do drugs you can get hooked ant It'll ruin you while life. So dont drink and Dive or fo drugs.
5th grade student
Brendan Haun
Kool kid huh? Anyways, tryouts are today and well I hope I make it.... Im sooo nervous. I love ya guys bai bai.

Okay the guy from Troy didnt come last night but he might come Friday.... and well you should read what you get some times.... its better than being alil stupid and asking some ones whos not near you to read it anyways I gotta go talk to you guys when I get in today.... I will be on tonite dont worry... Bai bai.

Okay, I just got my lil' prom shirt.... they are black! I love them.. Im still wonding what school TJ goes to. I have to have it down for the prom thingie.....
Well the guy from Troy state.... Anthony... might come visit today! Awesome.... I'd like him to come on friday. I have to come up with something for us to do... Any one got any ideas? I hope he does come.. Might have him drive up to the school to pick me up anyways gotta go bell rang... Take care I'll write more when I get home... Take care bai bai.

Heya! Okay, the guy from Troy wants to come visit me.... Kool huh?.... I wanna see him... but I do have my doubts... who wouldn't? Anyways, I think its nice, I do like him... but what do I do what do I say? Im alil afraid. Well more than alil.... Im alot! I just hope that every thing will go alright.
Anyways, I hope tomorrow goes better with the try outs and all. I did good today considering that she doesnt know what shes doing. Yeah.... well I guess thats just about it I really dont have much to talk about right now. See you guys later. Bai bai.

Heya! Okay, ever have random ppl hear about something that you've done recently and then start telling you that your a hero in their eyes.... Yeah thats been my day today. Some ppl have told about me saving Bekkas Life or at least talking to her when she was in need. So beyond that my days been okay. I mean I dont mind being called a hero for it its just not for them to praise me. That goes straight to God. I didnt do it for self reconetion.
Ever like some one alot? Of course the simple crush. What if it turned deadly? Could it? Yeah mayhaps, I mean some ppl might take it to extremes..... Some stalkers or something. I've had my share of those!
Well, Im talking to this guy right? He lives in Troy, Alabama.... about 2.5 to 3 hours from where I live.... Yeah that close! He's 19, and a Sophomore in college..... Hes soo sweet. Cute, has his own place, and loves animals.... He also likes alot of things that I like. Its such a kool relationship we have now though.... I dont know what to do.... Anyways, besides that I think that I have every thing down. Well, I'm in class and might actually have to pay attention soon so I'll write more when I get home after tryouts and laying in the tanning bed. Anyways gotta go, Bai bai.

Okay, to day I have dealt with some things. For instance I help a save a friends life. She cut her wrist and then called me. Thankfully I could help her. I dont want the praise though that goes to God. I cryed after words I didnt know if I did right, but was assured that I did do some good. Thanks my friends for being there. I plan on calling her tomorrow to make sure shes okay. I will let you guys know if she is or not.
I wanna tell Daniel and Sean thanks though for talking to me... I thought it was my fault.... they talked to me and explain some stuff to me. They are really good friends. Anyways I have to go now take care ppl. Bai bai.

Rain.... not my favorite thing. I dont really like it...... I like the sun better. I layed in a tanning bed today. Loved it! Though I didnt get to nap in it. Oh well. I have tryouts for the rest of the week... danceline.... then to lay in the tanning bed. Hope I get a tan before prom.... I cant wait but I can....... well Wensday is church.....fun! I love church. I get to see my gothic guy there. Its also quit fun to hang out with the youth....Yeah today is one of my blah days where I dont really write much so Im just going to go for now..... take care.